And the Edit Begins

I woke up this morning and started to edit, something that had stalled since last week, and I was so happy about it, because for three straight hours I worked and worked and felt so good with what I had done. I was afraid she’d crept into my mind and stolen away my ability to work.

Apparently, she hasn’t. I know I’m thinking about her a lot, and wishing it all materializes into something solid, but I also know once I get lost in the thick of editing the documentaries, I’ll think about her less and less, and I don’t want that to happen.

I feel like I’ve won the lottery, and not wrapping her up in my arms eventually is like not cashing in on the winning ticket. Only that I don’t know what to do.

Only today did I realize I was pronouncing her name wrong – and we’ve just had a good joke about us ending up in church and I keep telling the priest that he is calling her name wrongly – crap… anyway, it’s maybe starting to get to that point where daylight breaks into the darkness of the crush, the cloudy emotions that mask the newly born love, and then you start to see things clearly, and ask yourself questions about your emotions, you try to rationalize the decisions of your heart, and if you get the answers to these questions right, and the crush is still there – if the sun raises, but the night persists (what a stupid imagery :-o, but I can’t find anything better) then you know that you are meant to be together.

Maybe. I guess we’ll have to give it time.

Only that she’s sent me another poem. Bless her. She has a sweet voice too. A really sweet one, especially when she sings.

Okay, so as I’m beginning to again seriously edit the documentary, I know that I’m also now editing my feelings for her 🙂 if there is any such thing. Cutting, re-arranging the sequences, seeing what sounds match with what picture, and actually re-thinking the whole purpose of why you are making the film. What you want the audience to feel after watching it. So at the end of the day, I’ll have either a ‘love story with a happily ever after ending’ or a ‘might have been story with a friends for-ever kind of ending’. 🙂

Let’s see, honey.

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